Your face is a jimmy john
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would fuck him just for his dog
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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