I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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