That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just tell him i said nine months
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
