We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
