her vagine was all disorganized.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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