gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize