it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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