laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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