I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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