I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
