He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
do herpes really smell.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize