WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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