Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
