I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
