Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
