Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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