accomplished twins. life is a go
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
