Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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