wat bout pragnant strippers??
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
