I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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