After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize