just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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