we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
