I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
