i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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