My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize