im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
