I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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