Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
