My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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