Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
