bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
