she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
