I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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