He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
