You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
