Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
