Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
