I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
