she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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