that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
