And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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