I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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