did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
