I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
