Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize