The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
