heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize