She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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