I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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