Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
