Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize