throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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