Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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