Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize