Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You made out with two different species that night
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
