Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
