Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
