just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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