The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
