He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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