Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
