What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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