Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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