I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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