haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
