don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish you could order shots online.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
