Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
