you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
